Confession: I gave up blogging.
I know that’s ironic reading that statement on my, well, blog. But, I really did give it up, and now I’m back, and well let’s just say that I decided to ungive up. Friends, it has been almost a year since I posted my last blog post, and well, life has been nothing short of an upside-down roller coaster since that last post.
Coming into a new year, it seems fitting, as usual, to reflect on the past year and all that it held. While 2017 certainly wasn’t the worst of all years, I am more than ready (as I’m sure many of you are) to shut the door on it. 2017 felt like, in a lot of ways, a year of loss… loss that was both obvious and not-so-obvious and loss that was both good and bad. I experienced loss through the death of a loved one, through the loss of cherished relationships, the loss of normal, and the loss of dreams and desires. I also experienced the loss of faulty thinking, the loss of past pain, the loss of some of the walls I had built to protect my cynical heart, and the loss of the feeling that I needed to hang on to all of these things. In the midst of all of that loss, I’ve experienced joy and healing and peace that can only come from the mighty God I serve.
I say all of that to say that I gave up blogging not just because there didn’t seem to be enough hours in a day with all that going on, but I think I gave up blogging because it made all of that loss, the good and the bad, much more real. It made it more real for me and it made it real to all of you lovely people who tend to just see the highlight reel of my life (cause let’s face it, that’s all social media really is- a highlight reel). It’s not that I haven’t been processing all the loss and change, or that Jesus hasn’t been continually showing me how sweet and gracious He is, because I have and He is. But I knew that as soon as I penned the words about my reality (or typed, cause duh, we live in the 21st century), that they would be even more real. So I gave up blogging, honestly rather subconsciously, because I wasn’t ready for the things lost to be truly gone.
I started this blog because I wanted to create a space where I would intentionally share the reality of God’s sweet gift of grace and His unwavering faithfulness. I love writing, I love God’s people and His Word, and I love getting to share what He’s up to. I never knew if anyone would actually read it or not, but figured I might as well just write for myself and throw it out there on the interwebs in case anyone else needed some encouragement. So two years ago, my basic, white-girl self started a blog, much like many of my peers, as a New Year’s Resolution. I stumbled through a handful of posts for that year, and last year renewed that resolution with the intention of writing more.
We all know how that story ends, cause well, like I said, it’s been a year since that last post (ironically titled “I Suck at New Year’s Resolutions”). 2017 was a year of loss and change and heartache, but it was also a year of lots of joy and profound peace. It was a year of giving up the things I held too tightly to, and freeing my hands to do the things God is calling me to. That first step in letting go was moving…that’s right, this Music City gal packed up and moved back home to the Sunshine State. While that’s been one of the more sad and scarier changes that took place this year, it has also been the sweetest and most delightful change yet. I’m still settling into my new normal in a lot of ways and figuring out what it looks like, but friends… I just know that 2018 is going to be full of so much sweet adventure. I can’t wait to get to share with you all that God does!
My prayer for this year is that it is a year where I’ll dive into whatever it is God lays before me. That I’ll savor each moment, revel in His grace, intentionally pursue those around me, and faithfully and diligently seek Him first. I also pray that I’ll intentionally give up the things that need to go in order to create space, and intentionally hang on to the things the Lord sets before me. That is my prayer for all of you, too. I also pray that it will be a year full of sweet surprises, joy, and undeniable evidence of the Lord’s faithfulness for each of you.