Confession: I don’t think life is like a box of chocolates.
Nothing against our pal, Forrest Gump. I’m sure he meant well when he infamously said “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” I’m also sure he didn’t mean for these lines to be deeply philosophical. Valentine’s Day was last week, though, and in the midst of the aisles of unwanted, marked down boxes of chocolate that are collecting dust on the shelves this week, I’ve started to realize how much life is changing.
I’ve been in a season lately where I just get this vibe that life is changing. Nothing is significantly changing right now and I don’t personally have any big plans coming up…it just feels like the tide is turning. You know what I mean? My best friend moved out to Salt Lake City, Utah this week for her next Jesus sized adventure that has taken the shape of three months interning with an incredible ministry. I could go on and on about what a total God story this journey has been…but instead, I’ll save it and let her share it herself another time. Anyways, on top of that, most of my high school friends are graduating college this year, I have friends getting married, pals starting new jobs, leaving old jobs, folks moving and starting fresh…lots of change happening around me. And I’m sure there’s always this much change happening, but for some reason I feel like it’s hitting closer to home than usual. Life was feeling so mundane and normal and now it feels uncertain and unstable.
Now, normally I love change. I like mixing things up, going with the flow, taking off at the drop of the hat and simply just seeing where the wind blows. I like that I serve a God whose plans are much greater than mine and that I never know what I’m gonna get. But when it’s the people around me changing and I feel like the only stable, secure one, suddenly the change tastes more bitter, like a bad cup of coffee and less sweet like a yummy piece of chocolate. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so excited for my best friend and the adventure she is on and I’m so pumped to see how the Lord works in my other friends’ and my family’s lives…but if I’m really honest with myself, I’d like it if God could promise that every chocolate in life is going to be sweet, delicious and exciting; that none of them are going to be bitter, disappointing, or hard. I wish all of my wildest dreams could come true in my perfect, schemed out way, even though I know my plans are small, human, and fallen. I’d like to say I’m content with not changing while everyone else changes and vice versa.
1 Corinthians 2:9 says “but, as it is written, what no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love Him”. I pray that one day I would come to believe that in the deepest parts of my heart. That one day I’ll be able to write a blog in which I can confidently tell you that I wholly, 100% trust the sovereignty of God and His perfect plan for my life. That change doesn’t scare me, sadden me, excite me and overwhelm me all at once. I hope that in every changing season and every stable, mundane season I’ll be able to look you in the eye and say “I am exactly where I am suppose to be in life and completely content with it.” I hope that one day I can stop praying “Lord I believe, help my unbelief”. But for now, my fallen human plans and imperfect heart are trusting that God, in His loving kindness, truly holds the hold world in His hands. That even though life isn’t always the kind of sweet, exciting surprises you get in a box of chocolates, He is still good. Change can be exciting, scary, overwhelming and underwhelming all at the same time…and that’s ok. I don’t think that life is like an exciting, sweet box of chocolates, but I do think it’s like a joyously terrifying roller coaster that I don’t regret riding, even when it’s scary.